Yes, Virginia, Santa Claus is Horny

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Perhaps, she should have queried about the gender of those reindeer? Us believers in Santa Claus may have gotten it wrong all these years. Because only female reindeer still have antlers by the time the holiday season rolls around. The males of the species shed their impressive headgear before mid-December! The females get to keep theirs. Females have another edge over males. According to LiveScience , in preparation for winter, female reindeer build up nearly 50 percent body fat. That added weight gives them a couple extra inches of thick fat on their hindquarters, which helps keep them warm in temperatures as low as degrees Fahrenheit.

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While Santa is away having fun at a "toy convention," Mrs. Santa and the head elf are up to mischief in the workshop with some toys of their own. Director: Jim Enright. Writer: Gerard Damiano story and screenplay. Use the HTML below. You must be a registered user to use the IMDb rating plugin. Edit Cast Cast overview: Napoleon Big Jake Angela Summers Santa Randy West Santa K. The new life that Jesus Christ has made available to all of us. Posted by Sue at PM 4 comments:. I finally started going through all the baby boy clothes everyone has given me, and Holy Mackerel!

There's enough for 3 kids! This kid is set until he's a year and a half old! From left to right: burp rags, bibs and blankets months months months months I'll have to fine tune the selection after Mystery Boy gets here and I can see how big he is and what outfits will be season appropriate. Here's how we're cookin ' along: Mystery Boy is the wiggliest of my kids.

He is the most active in the evening and when I lay down for bed naturally. I can feel and often see pokey lumps where he's jabbing me with his feet or fists. My next OB appointment is on Monday, so we'll see how I'm progressing. This is me at 36 weeks with a very cranky Amelia at the family Christmas party last weekend. Posted by Sue at AM 6 comments:.

Thursday, December 18, Baby Brother Bear. Meet the newest addition to Grammie's grandkid bear collection: For now he goes by Baby Brother Bear. Aren't we a cute bunch? Posted by Sue at AM 2 comments:. Good Trade. That's what we've been scoring here in Cokeville. Dan has helped a local friend with a bunch of computer stuff, most recently helping him set up the computer management part of a windmill he just bought for his ranch, as well as helping with moving cows and such.

The last time Dan was out there, they gave us a bunch of meat in appreciation for all the help. We have real fresh bacon, ham steaks, pork roasts, ground beef and beef roasts. That's a serious chunk of change sitting in our freezer! We can't wait to try out the bacon, especially Lily. The local grocery store recently changed ownership. Dan's office is just a couple doors down from Mindy's Market and he goes in there a couple times a day to grab a soda and what not.

He's talked quite a bit with the new owners about the new improvements they're making.

Yes, Virginia, Santa Claus is Horny

One day they mentioned that they were going to have a grand opening and Dan told them I could help them with a flyer. I went down to the store a whole one minute drive and snapped a few photos, then designed this flyer : It was actually pretty fun doing the flyer and rather than pay me for the design and printing, we traded for store credit. Not only did we get a bunch of free groceries, but we got a waffle maker which we've been missing ever since we moved from Mom's house- it's a necessity on "I don't wanna cook" nights , a big outdoor extension cord, and a jar of Redken Water Wax pomade my hair product of choice.

I was floored when I saw the Water Wax on the shelf- way to go Cokeville! Mindy is also a hairdresser, so she has the inside connection. Lovin ' this small town! Posted by Sue at AM 3 comments:. I am officially miserable. You may think it's the constant trips to the bathroom or the stretching of my uterine ligaments or back pain from leaning over the sink to wash dishes.

While those things are certainly annoying, they are a minor inconvenience compared to my real problem. I've got hemorrhoids. I know what you're thinking: I can't believe Sue is talking about hemorrhoids on her blog. Oh stop it, yes you can. Once you have knelt at the altar of the colorectal surgeon and said to yourself, "Oh my gosh, he totally just taped my butt cheeks open" there's really not much left in this world that can embarrass you.

Except, I guess, when you have to go back a second time because the surgery failed, and the surgeon takes one look and says, "Oh my gosh! Oh wow, yep I've never seen that happen before. First, thank your lucky stars, then go to this link not to worry, there are no visual aids. My body seems to have a built in weakness for hemorrhoids during pregnancy. The weight of the baby just puts too much pressure on my butt.

I had hemorrhoids with Lily, but thankfully they were mostly internal and never got really bad. I suspect it's because I never went into labor with her or had to push her out because she was a scheduled C-section. Plus she was my first so my body wasn't ruined yet. I got hemorrhoids with Amelia, was pretty uncomfortable for the last few weeks and had to give up on my hopes of having an unmedicated labor because I couldn't sit or lay comfortably in between contractions.

The strain of pushing the baby out was more than my tooshy could handle and one of the hemorrhoids ballooned out and developed a clot thrombosis. Despite the myriad of people that took a peek at my butt while I was in the post- pardum maternity ward the hazards of delivering at a university hospital , they told me just to wait for it to clear up on its own. It didn't. After just a couple days home with Amelia, I went to the colorectal surgeon who stayed late on a Friday afternoon to help relieve my misery.

The thing is, as mortified as you are to drop your drawers and let someone go after your butt with a scalpel, you're so desperate for the pain to go away that all you want to do is turn around and hug the guy! That experience and the aftermath was by far the worst physical pain I'd endured. I still maintain that I would rather give birth 10 times over than have to get another hemorrhoid surgically removed. Fast forward a couple of years. I've tried to be vigilant in taking my stool softener and Metamucil with this pregnancy.

There have been a few minor incidents, but things have cleared up within a couple of days. Then last week Mystery Boy started moving down and putting a ton of pressure on everything south of the uterus. Within three days I had a thrombosed hemorrhoid.


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Having been there before and knowing it was not going to just "go away", I called the butt doctor Friday morning and got in for another late afternoon appointment just in time before the weekend. The procedure was quick and Mom met me at the hospital to watch the girls, followed by a sleepover with Grammie. I had a miserable night and by the morning I discovered that a new clot had formed by the stitches.

Un - freakin -believable! Mom had a funeral to go to, so I sent the girls to play with some neighbors and called upon my Aunt Liz to drive me back up to the University of Utah hospital because I couldn't bear to stop taking my pain meds long enough to be a safe driver. If you have to choose someone to accompany you to butt surgery, make sure it's someone with a sense of humor, and preferably a nursey type.

Aunt Liz and I had a great time cracking pun intended butt jokes and she threatened to take pictures of the butt doctor working on my backside. Fortunately she restrained herself enough to only photograph me fully clothed. Thank my l ucky stars , the colorectal surgeon and his intern who had done the procedure on Friday afternoon were both in the hospital on Saturday as the attending surgeon and resident surgeon on call, so I had the experts fix me up again instead of some ER hack.

When it comes to your anus, you only want the best! When I ha d the thrombosed hemorrhoid removed after Amelia's birth and then again on Friday, the doctors completed the procedure with sutures. I was really concerned about the hemorrhoids recurring since I've still got 4 weeks to go unti l del ivery.

Peche said that sometimes a clot will come back, pooling under the sutures, but he'd never seen it happen. Leave it to me to broaden his medical horizons! The solution was to remove the sutures, clean things up and just leave the wound open to heal. The recovery will take longer, but the risk of another thrombosi s is lower.

Peche said I should be healed up right about the time I deliver. Great, just in time to push a baby out and pop a few more ass grapes. Here's the "after" picture. And the only reason I'm feeling so sassy is because my butt is still numb from the local anesthetic. Posted by Sue at PM 10 comments:. Tuesday, December 2, A 6-year-old's guide to decorating a Christmas tree.

Have your Mom put the tree together. Dance around the room and help occasionally with the fluffing. If the lights don't work, let your Dad fix them. If you don't have any ornaments, just let your favorite doll sit in the tree.

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Posted by Sue at PM 5 comments:. Monday, December 1, Kids aren't cookie cutters. About a week ago, this post started out with me ranting and raving about what a "Terrible Two" Amelia has become and how her sister was comparatively a saint at this age. But after a long prayer and a good night's rest, I realized I was being crusty and unreasonable and that I could do a lot to improve how Amelia and I were getting along.

One major change I made was limiting Amelia's movie time to one movie a day instead of letting her brain rot for hours at a time. She's a very busy and inquisitive child and all that passive time in front of the DVD player makes her irritable. So I've been trying to do more reading with her, letting her help me with chores, and bringing out more toys for her to play with. Another thing that has helped, especially when it's bedtime, is the elimination of Amelia's nap. But we'd been spending about 45 minutes a night putting up with her getting out of bed, throwing fits because she didn't want to go to sleep, demanding to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed, etc.

I'll tell you what, by the end of the night I was about ready to send her outside to sleep in the wood pile! Lily has always been a champion sleeper so it's been a challenge for me. In talking about managing the stress of motherhood, someone recently told me, "No one is a good mother after at night. My patience and energy are completely shot by then, so I turn into a total crankpot at night.

I've been trying to make getting the girls bathed and teeth brushed by a priority.

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While Amelia is strong-willed and obstinate at times, she has a built-in defense mechanism to keep her parents from beating her: she's just so dang cute! It's hard to stay mad at that face! Amelia has some of the most endearing quirks. When she wants something she says " Meees " please while hunching her shoulders up and tilting her head to the side.

Despite the four year age difference between Amelia and Lily, Amelia just adores her sister. She always gives her a big hug when she comes home from school. When Dan is gone to Salt Lake, she says, "I miss Daddy" and we call him on the phone and she giggles and smiles. Another thing I love to hear Amelia say is "yes". She says it in two distinctive ways. If she's perky and enthusiastic, like when she does something by herself and I ask, "Did you do it?

When she's sad or she's talking about her animals or a baby or something small, she says it in a small, pitiful voice with her lips poking out and her brow furrowed. I've been so absorbed with Amelia's challenging behavior lately that I've really short-changed Lily with all my crabbiness. That kid is just sweet to the core and she gets nothing but nagging from her mother.

Being the oldest child sucks because you're expected to be ultra-obedient and set the perfect example or else your parents freak out. OK, not all parents, but that's how I've been. But Lily is one of the sweetest kids you'll ever meet. She has such a tender heart and loves to express affection. Every morning when she leaves for the bus she started this when we lived in American Fork and she'd leave to go play with her friends she waves and says, "Bye Mama, I love you".

She's always giving me hugs and kisses, talking to Mystery Boy, and making all kinds of love notes for me and her Dad. Dan went to Parent-Teacher Conference a couple weeks ago and Lily's teacher said she was one of the kindest kids in class, got along with everyone and was always leaving notes to cheer up her friends. Lily has always been eager to please and is super easy-going. Whenever she's been in sports, she's more interested in just having fun with her friends than trying to master a skill.

But I'll gladly trade athletic prowess for a girl with a kind heart. It's been interesting watching our girls grow and realizing that kids really come with built-in personalities. We used to be all proud of our great parenting skills because Lily was such a mild-mannered obedient child. Turns out that's just her personality. I wonder what Mystery Boy will be like Tuesday, November 25, Being Thankful and crafty. I actually decorated for Thanksgiving. OK, I don't know if you can really call it decorating if it's just one little thing, but it does makes things seem more festive. And not a moment too soon since Thanksgiving is in two days!

I stole this idea and modified it from spymommy's blog I was way too lazy to cut out leaves, so we just did rubber stamps. The girls had a great time crafting with the rubber stamps thanks, Katie, for loaning them to us and then we wrote in what we were thankful for as a Family Home Evening activity last night. Saturday, November 22, Cattle Country. This may seem a little Pioneer Woman wanna-be- ish , but Rhee's not the only city-turned-country girl who loves taking pictures of cows!

At the beginning of October I was sitting at the computer and Dan came in and said, "You're missing some real Wyoming culture outside. There were tons of guys on 4 wheelers and kids on bikes trying to push the cows down Main Street and get past the railroad crossing. There was a great hum, cows mooing, ranchers whistling and hollering, hooves clattering down the pavement. Those cows caused a traffic jam, not unlike the 15 or 20 trains that go through in a 24 hour period, but with the cattle crossing, people knew they were in for the long haul and some got out to chat with the ranchers while they waited.

The amazing thing is that not two minutes after all the cows were across, a train came through. What luck! There are no schedules or anything so those ranchers were just chancing it. I guess that's why they had so many guys on 4 wheelers hovering by the crossing, so they could split the herd if a train came.

Fast forward a month I drove to the pasture where they were pushing the cows so I could take some pictures. This calf totally looked like it had a milk mustache. Coming in at the rear was Amelia, riding with Brian since Daddy's horse was a little squirrelly. When she saw me she broke out in a huge smile; she was cold and snotty and ready to get off the horse after her 30 minute ride. My favorite part of this picture is puppy Merle, bounding forward in complete exultation.

Dan rounding up a few stragglers, whoopin ' and hawin ' with the best of 'em. Minus the cowboy hat, Dan is getting to be a pretty authentic ranch hand. He got his own pair of custom made leather chaps from Argyle Ranches between Cokeville and Randolph , and if you look closely, you can see he has properly initiated them by getting elk blood on the right thigh.

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There's definitely something sexy about a man in chaps! When I first tried to put Amelia in the car, she threw a holy fit and screamed, "No Mama! I want tows cows! Rosy nosed and looking a little wind chapped, Amelia fell asleep within about 3 minutes of leaving the ranch. Just a little something for my artsy- fartsy side. I got a real kick out of this old broken down piece of ranch equipment, so long neglected that the sagebrush had grown all around it. Posted by Sue at AM 5 comments:. All is well at the Richardson house again.

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so I kissed up to Dan by making a completely homemade Banana Cream Pie. And I guess the way to a woman's heart is to just do what she asks, so Dan made me happy by being around a lot more in the days following the drama. A couple days after the blowup Dan was getting ready to go to his office here in town and he said, "Now, I've got a lot of work to do today, so I don't want any of your b. My purpose was to point out how we all get really worked up over things that, in the grand scheme of life, have very little meaning.

The blog is a way for me to work out my thoughts as I write. I was regretting some of the things I said, especially after Dan told me to save the b.